Night train YK → Gambir

I Was just reading “the book you wish your parents had read” and it’s just a few sentence of the first chapter until my mind was struct by a sudden thought of me telling my future husband and children, who I don’t even know who he and they migbt be as i am still in my mono era

“To my future husband, I don’t know how I will become when I meet you. But right now I am doing my best to heal from the wounds I have carried all my life. I want to love you in my best state ever. Maybe I’m not completely healed yet when we meet, but one thing to know, that’s going to be inevitable, I guess.”

I just got another heartbreak, by the end of may to be exact.

I thought he was the one, he fits almost all the characteristic I had in mind. Unfortunately, he doesn’t see me the same way as how i see him. But then, i remember what my friend told me when I first got to know him, “if he’s not the one, you’ve taken a glimpse of how you will end up with”

From this heartbreak, I have another list

  1. He communicates well : his needs, his feelings, his vulnurability, mind and thought
  2. He want to fight for me

I never know how it is to be fought for as I have abandonment issues due to my father leaving for someone else.

  1. I want to be provided
  2. I want us to faithfully accept the fitrah that Allah has betowed upon us.
  3. Our opinion on fundamental things related to marriage and life are in line
  4. A soft-hearted person
  5. Who loves reading and books
  6. Who loves digging up knowledge and still humble about it